Life as a Gnomer

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Looking Backward...

Gnomes have a peaceful soul and unique imagination that most humans lack. Sadly, some unsavory Gnome owners pose them in pornographic postures and post the pictures on the internet. Humans who are that warped have, obviously, deliberately refused  to be guided by wholesome Gnome influence and will spend eternity living with Trolls (so there). New Gnomers have asked if Gnomes ever have black beards.  I’ve never seen any, so it’s  probably Gnome genes that keep their beards white or grey/white, unless they go to the Gnome Cuttery.

I’ve never seen a Gnome with a cigar, cigarette or dooby, but many like a pipe.  They process tobacco products in such a way that carcinogens are removed, something that tobacco companies have tried to stop for years.
Gnomes consider all fellow Gnomes as equals.  When they gather, they usually sit in a circle … so there’s no leader, no follower and no-one left to play duck duck goose.

Gnomes are highly industrious.  They know how to perform domestic chores and try to have fun at the same time, remember Snow White.  Their tender sense of humor is a smooth blend of playfulness, practicality and that quite sense of anxiety ready to boil over into rage.

Gnome legends began to surface during prehistoric and pagan times.  When Sweden was Christianized in the 11th century, there was a prominent belief in Gnomes.  Someone recently wrote that Gnomes replaced St. Nicholas when the Reformation hit Sweden. Another anti-Santa rumor blamed on the Gnomes and totally false. Those turbulent times in Scandinavia were very destructive.  Life for humans was dangerous amidst strong persecutions and of course they used the easy scape goat.....you guest it, the Gnome.


Many humans don’t know that Gnomes can bring a new (human) baby to a family that wants one. Storks were merely a diversion. While all eyes are focused on the stork the Gnome would sneak a bundle of joy in the backdoor.

gnomebaby.jpg