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Life as a Gnomer

You think You Know a Gnome

Gnomer Home
The Power of the Gnome
Look at the Gnome
Gnome - Friend or Foe
From Here to There
You think You Know a Gnome
Gnome Lore
The Green Gnome
Gnomer News
Gnome Songs
Related Gnoming Links
How to Contact a Gnomer

Looking backward...

Gnome Knowledge

Gnomes consist of a number of different types. The most common is the Forest Gnome who rarely comes into contact with man and has been reportedly seen with Sasquash. The Garden Gnome lives in old gardens, marries early and enjoys telling melancoly tales about the old days, being single and his cousins escapades with Sasquash. Dune Gnomes are slightly larger than their woodland breathren and choose remarkably drab clothing (see front page). House Gnomes have the most knowledge of man, often speaking his language and keeping a close eye on the milkman. Farm Gnomes resemble their House brethen, but are more conservative in manner and dress and speak more slowly. Siberian Gnomes have been more interbred than other Gnomes (cold up there you know) and associate freely with trolls. They are much larger than the other types and ask the same stupid three questions as Trolls. It is best never to evoke the ire of such Gnomes for they delight in revenge. Examples include the missing laundry sock, glasses, car keys and that wet spot on the bed that can never be explained.


Originating in Scandinavia on the farm of Sven Svensen, Gnomes were always treated by Sven as a free and respected little servant. They took care of his baking, cleaning, foraging for food, latrine cleaning, cabana boy duties, and was the occasional oxe cart designated driver. They also cleaned clogged drain pipes (from the inside), chimneys (from the inside) and sometimes Swedish fish (against his will, the whole animal thing you know). Gnomes later escaped, I mean migrated to the low lands where better business opportunities abound.

Gnome Politics
Enough said.................